Thanks Aunt Candy for the link to this fascinating article. Turns out, studies show it takes at least ten thousand hours to truly master any skill. This got me thinking (with mirth, of course) about the various things to which, at twenty-eight years of age, I can truly claim mastery as defined by Malcom Gladwell. That is to say, these are the activities or skills at which I have logged >10k hours and demonstrated world-class expert status. I have compiled a short list:

  • Bathroom functions
  • Bathroom humor
  • Eating (directly related to the above)
  • Sleeping
  • Cracking wise
  • Playing video games
  • Surfing the web on my BlackBerry
  • Waiting for the web to load on my BlackBerry
  • Running my mouth
  • Facebook
  • Listening to 90s alt-rock
  • Whining about Xanga
  • Daydreaming about girls*

Having mastered these items and upon calculating how much money Malcolm Gladwell has made from his tome on the mastery of mastery, I have decided to quit my job and write a book. I will title it, “Adultolescence: A How-To By A Malcom Gladwell Certified Master.” Pre-release orders will include a signed hardbound copy, a whoopie cushion, and Mercury by The Prayer Chain.

*Directly related: Being an awesome husband to an incredible wife. According to Gladwell, however, in this area I am only “fairly expert.”